Friday, September 29, 2006

FNC's Sub Rosa Ciaos

Fox News' motto is "We Report. You Decide." Too bad they don't report to their loyal viewers personnel changes. First, Linda Vester was promoted with "that face, that face" for her midday program as if she were something to be vaunted: happily, her voguing visage is no longer visible with no reasons provided by FNC. Then the larger but brilliant Rita Cosby simply disappeared from her FNC program to reappear on MSNBC with no explanation.  Lately, Julian Phillips, the Bryant Gumbel of Fox News, who co-hosted Fox & Friends Weekend with the ever lovely Kiran Chetry and the spicy Alyson Camarotta, was sacked in favor of minister and chanteur extraordinaire Kelly Wright: not even a courteous comment was proffered. Since Fox News has purged its morning weekend show of the ostentatious, obnoxious display of personal aggrandizement of a spoilt elitist, all is forgiven. However, if they get rid of Kiran Chetry, I will be a less loyal viewer.

Defense News: China Blinds U.S. Satellites

According to the U.K.'s Telegraph, the Defense News, a military affairs publication, reported Monday that sources reveal that Chinese can and have blinded American spy satellites as they passed over Chinese territory. These Chinese tests indicate that U.S. intelligence satellites could be rendered useless to gather information over Chinese soil. One erstwhile Pentagon senior official said, "The Chinese are very strategically minded and are extremely active in this arena: they really believe all the stuff written in the 1980s about the high frontier." So did Gorbachev: remember the Oslo summit and the subsequent fall of the Evil Empire?


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

WTFWJD Accidental? Yeah, Right!

Mocking "Passion of the Christ" producer, Mel Gibson, GS & Game Show Network created the new Internet game "So You Think You Can Drive, Mel." It places you behind the wheel as Mel with a bottle of tequila with the goal of making it home from a restaurant while avoiding rabbis swinging Stars of Davis (representing the Jewish community according to spokesman, John Roberts) and state troopers. You gain points by picking up tequila bottles in the process which continue to impair your ability to navigate, and your game ends after you hit five state troopers. On the license plate of Mel's video game sports car are the letters "WTFWJD." When I saw it on yesterday's Fox & Friends First, I was reminded of the bracelets with "WWJD." Of course, I also thought of what "TF" interjected therein meant and was appalled at the apparent blasphemy.

Clinton Steams Rice

Secretary Condoleeza Rice heatedly rebutted former president Bill Clinton's finger-wagging rantings on Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace that he was the only one who tried to kill Osama bin Laden, that he left a all-encompassing anti-terrorist strategy, and that the Bush administration had fired top anti-terrorist official Richard Clarke. Condi asserted, "What we did in eight months was at least as aggressive as what the Clinton administration did in the preceding years" and that Clinton's allegations that the Bush administration had not lifted a finger to stop terrorism was  "flatly false." She added, "We were not left a comprehensive strategy to fight al Qaeda." As to Clarke, Rice stated, "Richard Clarke was the counterterrorism czar when 9/11 happened, and he left when he did not become deputy director of homeland security, some months later."


Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Chavez: Bush the Diablo

Venezuelan Prez Hugo Chavez addressed the U.N. General Assembly today calling President Bush "the devil." "The devil came here yesterday: he came here talking as if he were the owner of the world," huffed Castro's protege. Chavez pleaded, "We appeal to the people of the United States and the world to halt this threat, which is like a sword hanging over our head." U.S. Ambassador John Bolton responded that it was "too bad the people of Venezuela don't have free speech." He added, "I'm just not going to comment on this because his remarks just don't warrant a response: People can listen to what he had to say and if they do they will reject it."


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Thailand's Thaksin Overthrown

Today army chief General Sondhi Boonyaratkalin ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra as the PM was in New York to address the UN. Sondhi sent the Thai military into Bangkok's streets, cordoned off Thaksin's offices, took control of the television stations, and declared a provisional government loyal to the king. The constitution was revoked, martial order was declared, and governmental, business, and academic institutions were closed. On the street people emptied the normally bustling markets and red light districts. Thaksin, popular with the country's poor but less so with its cosmopolitan city dwellers, had recently been on the defensive with the nation's voters. Thaksin had called a snap election earlier this year after coming under heavy fire for his family's very profitable, controversial tax-free sale of shares in a large corporation. The election was boycotted by the opposition and invalidated by the nation's courts. Now it appears that the armed forces have attempted to remedy the situation after consulting with the country's revered monarch.

Cf. and

Poland Remembers the Gipper

President Ronald Reagan is revered in Poland for his stalwart stand against communism and his role in its defeat in Europe. Admirers of the Gipper from Poland, Canada, and the United States plan to unveil a 11.5 foot stone-and-bronze statue across from the U.S. Embassy in Warsaw on July 4, 2007 to honor the 40th American president. One of them, Janusz Dorosiewicz, stated, "Reagan was the person who defeated the communists and opened the way for freedom in Poland: The statue is a way for his legacy to live on." Thank you, President Reagan, for being the West's Cincinnatus.


Monday, September 18, 2006

Willie's New Orleans Lady: Mary Jane

This morning Willie Nelson and four others were given citations for marijuana and illicit mushroom possession according to the Louisiana State Police. Willie (et al) received them when his tour bus underwent a commercial vehicle inspection. Apparently, the trooper on the scene smelled the strong scent of marijuana when he opened the bus' door and, subsequently, ordered a search of the singer's vehicle. Police report that 1.5 lbs. of marijuana and 0.2 lbs. of unlawful mushrooms were found. Too bad for Willie that Jimmy is not still Prez.


Make Love, Not War

Senoras and senoritas are calling for a crossed-leg strike in Pereira, one of the most dangerous cities in Columbia. I.e., female lovers are putting their men on notice that they are not going to give it up unless the boys give up their guns in the local government's disarmament effort. Margarita, a gang member's moll said, "When we close ourselves off a bit they listen to us: if they don't give up their weapons, then we won't be with them." Caleno, a local tough, echoed her sentiments, " They say that if we don't drop our weapons, they won't be with us anymore: we need our women, and you'll change for your woman." According to officials, violence appears to have lessened.

Cf.,10117,20403441-1702,00.html?from=rss;; and FNC.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Fly Over Vegas

Guys and gals, I'm sorry for the large lacuna between this posting and the prior one. Last week I took a "vacation" to Branson, MO, courtesy of dear ones. Even though I was quite dubious of this Las Vegas for middle America, I did have a relaxing time. (The obvious target demographic is an older, stereotypical red-state voter.) As I walked the Strip, I found an eatery/store that had the 10 Commandments with water cascading down, a church with gospel music wafting to the errant ear, and three crosses with less commercial crassness; a convenience store that asked for God's blessing on America (or her soldiers) and offered cheap cigarettes and the lotto; and an Amish store that sported a neon sign, sold sparkling wines, and accepted credit cards. When I encountered the service industry, its providers seemed to be largely from other areas with an attitude quite contrary to their customer base. Whereas Vegas appeals to the naughty nature of America with its allure of gambling, drink, and sex, Branson attracts its nice spirit with its invocation towards God, country, and family. An interesting dichotomy! I'm reminded of BET's juxtapositon of uncensored vids vis-a-vis an apparent Simeon-like televangelist.

Thursday, September 7, 2006

Clinton Red-Faced over 9/11 Cine

Former President Bill Clinton is calling for ABC to pull the "Path to 9/11" miniseries unless it deletes or alters certain scenes that don't portray him in a more flattering light. (Path to 9/11 is set to begin this Sunday, September 10, and to end Monday, the fifth year anniversary of the American tragedy of 9/11.) He is most angry that the film indicates that his Secretary of State Madeline Albright warned Pakistani intelligence (some say close to the Taliban) about the strike on Osama bin Laden, that his National Security Adviser Sandy Berger called off a strike that had Osama well targeted, and that he was too distracted by the Monica Lewinsky scandal to keep the country safe. Still fighting for a legacy!

Cf.;; and

Wednesday, September 6, 2006

Suri's Real

As I was looking today at a Vanity Fair pic of Suri, scion of Tom and Katie, I felt an odd sense of estrangement from pop culture. Why does anyone care a whit that the TomKat union has produced a tyke? Is it because of all of the rumors about Tom's sexual predelictions, the strange nature of Tom & Katie's romance, or that Top Gun finally quit shooting blanks? Rather odd. Katie even heralded the coming of this chosen child on her premier show: now Vanity Fair seems to have added the requisite hagiography or iconography to Hollywood's pantheon. Maybe, I should consult John Bunyan's magnum opus for some spiritual clarity.

Tuesday, September 5, 2006

Israel Deals

After denying the inevitable, Israel decides to trade approximately 800 Palestinian prisoners for kidnapped Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit. According to Al-Hayat, an Egyptian newspaper, Shalit has already been sent to Egypt in the first stage of the swap. He will held there until Israel fulfills its pledges under the agreement according to El-Halij, a Bahrain-based daily. After Nasrallah's stand against an untested Ohlmert, the Israeli state appears ready to cut its losses and to regain its footing among its Arab brethren.


Monday, September 4, 2006

VIP's Rush to Katie

CBS is bringing out the country's political top guns to usher Katie into her new seat at the helm of CBS Evening News. Slated to appear on Couric's inaugural telecasts this week are uber leftist Uncle Walter (as previously noted); politically correct Bill Maher; controversial, conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh; progressive, no-nonsense America's mayor Rudy Giuliani; philandering impeachee and popular potential First Man Bill Clinton; and the terrorist–fighting, malaprop POTUS. CBS should get a ratings spike for such a luminous array of stars: however, will they continue to return for quotidian quaffs of Couric?


R.I.P. Crocodile Hunter

Steve Irwin, a/k/a Crocodile Hunter, was killed yesterday by a three foot long, 220 lb. stingray as he was shooting a documentary on dangerous marine creatures at Bat Reef in Queensland, Australia. In the freak acccident, Irwin was swimming above the stingray when it got spooked and slung its 8-in. barb straight into his heart. Irwin went into cardiac arrest and died shortly thereafter as he was being evacuated to receive professional medical care. Irwin, a fearless wildlife explorer, brought his joyous embrace of the most dangerous animals on the planet into the living rooms of a worldwide audience as he taught it to admire, respect, and appreciate God's fearsome fauna. The 44-year-old star of numerous documentaries and the owner of Australia Zoo, a Queensland reptile park left a beautiful wife, an 8 y.o. daughter and 2 y.o. son. He will be truly missed by his many fans young and old.


Friday, September 1, 2006

Back in the C-U-B-A

Fidel is back! And so is Hugo! As Castro continued to recuperate from intestinal surgery, the Cuban leader greeted his protege with elation as Chavez returned for another courtesy call. Fidel exclaimed, "What joy! A million thanks!" Once deemed dead by many of his detractors, the Marxist strongman emerged with renewed vigor: the eighty-year old Communist general seems ready to give his Yankee neighbor its own bout of visceral vexing. While we await a return to democracy, please send us some of your famed cigars and potent mojitas.



Waitresses and barkeeps know well the acronym for Attitude Reflected In Tip. Generally, it is said by a customer ready to stiff (or leave a three-penny tip) to that service provider who has not lived up to his/her expectations. Or, maybe, it was a cutie that didn't flirt enough. However, Cindy Kienow, a bartender at Applebee's in Hutchinson, Kansas, received quite a surprise when a generous regular who generally discussed current events or the weather and who often tipped 50% left her a check. As she related the account, he normally turned it over but this time he kept it right side up and explicitly said, "I want you to know this is not a joke." As she looked agape at the $10,000 tip that he had left, he added, "This will buy you something kind of nice, huh? Kienow replied, "Yeah, it will." The eatery is still confirming that the tip is a legit charge and indicated its eagerness to give her the money upon verification. Kienow said, "I hope that he comes back in so I can tell him 'thank you' because the  other day I was kind of dumbfounded." She indicated that she would like to share her good fortune with her parents: she said, "[b]ut I feel like he wanted me to buy something for myself, and there's a Jeep that I've had my eye on for a while." An appropos anecdote for the under-appreciated working gal/gent: Happy Labor Day weekend!