New Bond: B(I) Spy

Daniel Craig wants his next Bond flic to involve the suave superspy in a gay interlude. Further, Craig is interested in doing a full frontal nude scene for his male and female fans. He stated, "Why not? I think in this day and age, fans would have accepted it." If his studio bosses give in to the new Bond's suggestions, I have a feeling the vaunted franchise will have finally jumped the proverbial shark. Will Brosnan be back?

Cf. http://uk.news.yahoo.com/29112006/364/craig-wants-gay-bond-scene.html.

Judge: Show 'em the Money!

U.S. District Judge James Roberton ruled yesterday that the federal government discriminates against the visually challenged by printing paper money that is uniform in feeling, size, etc. and thereby violates the Rehabilitation Act which bars bias on the basis of disability. He mandated that the U.S. Treasury implement a way for the blind to distinguish between the denominations of bills. (Formerly, these currency certificates were not uniform but were made so in 1929 in an attempt to lower costs and discourage counterfeiting.) Judge Robertson noted that of the 180 countries that print paper currency only the U.S. makes no distinction in size or color: he added that  over 100 vary the size of the bills of differing value and that every other national issuer has some method for the visually impaired to recognize the value of a bill. The government has ten days from the judgment to appeal.

Cf. http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/11/28/D8LMC4600.html.

Madonna's Fall

Madonna's Confessions tour special on NBC failed miserably as it finished fourth in its time spot last Wednesday. Her pre-Thanksgiving turkey was bested by Jericho (CBS), Show Me (ABC), and Cheaper by the Dozen (FOX). To make matters worse for the Detroit diva, Madonna's votary Brit seems to have a new mentor in Paris.

Cf. http://contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/madonna%20concert%20special%20fails%20to%20score%20ratings_1014772.

Girls Talk: Guys "Think"

Femmes talk almost thrice as much as their male counterparts according to Dr. Luan Brizendine, author of The Female Mind. This self-professed feminist states that the differences between the female and male brain explain why women do so. According to Brizendine, females devote more brain cells to chatting and the very act of conversing initiates an inundation of brain chemicals that give women a high akin to heroin. She said, "Women have an eight-lane superhighway for processing emotion, while men have a small country road." However, Brizendine said that whereas men have an international airport for sex thoughts (with their brain "sex processor" that is twice as large in men as in women), "women have an airfield nearby that lands small and private planes." In fact, she observed that a woman tends to think of sex once a day whereas a man does so every 52 seconds on average.

Cf. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=419040&in_page_id=1879.

Happy ThanXgiving!

On this special day dedicated to giving thanks for the benevolence and beneficence of God from Whom every good and perfect gift emanates, I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving with your family, friends, and proverbial neighbors. Isn't it wonderful to have a holiday that puts aside the commercialism and materialism of contemporary culture and allows its celebrants just to appreciate, love, and enjoy? Thank God for His goodness, your kith and kin for their love, and others for their "random acts of kindness."

Bush Jinxed

The Western world laughed and progressive Indonesians groaned as shaman Ki Gendeng Pamungkas put a santau, or curse, on President Bush in Bongor, Indonesia. The witch doctor imbibed a potent potation concocted with the bloods of a sacrificed goat, a slaughtered black crow, and a slain snake and imprecated POTUS. The voodoo practitioner said, "I don't hate Americans, but I don't like Bush" and added, "The devil is with me today."

As Bush returned to the States, the hex that didn't meet its mark in its intended venue (Bogor Presidential Palace, where Bush met with Indonesian Prez Yudhoyono) seemed to fall on the presidential entourage in Hawaii and even onto his daughter Barbara's governmental posse in Argentina. First, the acting director of the White House Travel Office was mugged and beaten by three thugs in Waikiki as he left a nightclub alone: after being found in a pool of blood by friends, he was treated by paramedics and taken to the Queen's Medical Center. Later, three of Bush's police motorcycle escorts crasheded on rainy, slippery Honolulu roads: two are in serious condition at the Queen's Medical Center, and the third is in good condition. Moreover, his daughter Barbara's purse and cell phone were stolen at a restaurant in Buenos Aires even though she had Secret Service agents in tow. To top it off, a Secret Service agent on advance detail for Barbara got badly beaten in a brawl after a tear in the town.

Of course, Bush's shellacking in the November elections preceded the black magic curse.

Cf. http://www.bernama.com/bernama/v3/news_lite.php?id=230807; http://www.wtop.com/?sid=977070&nid=456; http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2006/Nov/21/br/br5187469032.html; and http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/2006/11/first_daughter_.html.

Bringing Brit Back

UPDATE: K-Fed's divorce lawyer claims, "There is not a sex video of Kevin and Britney in existence." Brit's reps had no immediate response.

Cf. http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=entertainmentNews&storyid=2006-11-21T234751Z_01_N21431273_RTRUKOC_0_US-BRITNEY.xml&src=rss&rpc=22.

After sending her career into the toilet with her marriage to K-Fed and birthing two of his spawn, Britney is apparently trying to rescucitate it by ditching her backup dancer hubby, possibly preempting him by releasing the sex tape, partying with satyr sweetie Paris, and, perhaps, pondering a Vegas comeback a la Elvis. Does the pop princess still have it? With her latest choice of friends, she seems to realize that Malawi Madonna is no longer a muse to immulate but possibly to immolate. After getting some career intervention from her mom, it appears that she may be ready to reassert herself on the contemporary cultural stage with former Mouseketeer mates Christina and Justin.

Cf. http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3873170a5620,00.html; http://www.tmz.com/2006/11/20/britney-hangs-with-paris-drops-pants-in-public; http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2006/Nov-08-Wed-2006/news/10688806.html; and http://www.imdb.com/news/wenn/2006-11-16#celeb7.