Turkey: Burka Babes v. Bikini Beauties

Turkey's beaches are witnessing an incredible juxtaposition of beauties clad in bikinis (or even topless) with babes donning head-to-toe swimwear. Under moderate-to-conservative Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Muslim sensitivities about women's clothing are getting a more sympathetic ear. Thus, tailors such as Mustafa Karaduman, nicknamed The Prophet's Couturier, are pioneering efforts to make swimming attire in strict adherence to dictates of the Qur'an. These suits allow Muslim lovelies to tan guilt free as the cloth allows the sun's rays to bathe their bodies but not expose them. Within the secular democratic society of modern Turkey bequeathed by her Western-oriented founder Ataturk, the differences in garb are likely to continue to coexist as long as fundamentalistic tendencies are kept in check. Of course, the bikini and less is likely to rule in Western societies where feminine beauty is celebrated and not cloaked.

Cf. http://www.guardian.co.uk/turkey/story/0,,1788565,00.html.

Kiwi Cop Loses Night Job

An Auckland City copper was counseled (equivalent to a censure for New Zealand police) for taking a night job amongst the Kiwi demimonde to ease her financial plight, according to Deputy Commissioner Lyn Provost. (As to the monetary rewards, a parlour pretty can earn $500 on a Friday night according to a spokewoman for the New Zealand Prostitutes' Collective.) Provost explainded that she believed that common sense would indicate that police work and sex work are incompatible. Ron Mark, NZ First law and order spokesman said, "There is a very real possibility that a police officer could be quietly moonlighting as a prostitute and under threat of being found out, to be subjected to extortion or demands to provide information or turn a blind eye to criminal activities." He added that the regulations concerning secondary employment of policemen needed tightening.  Apparently, privacy concerns dictated that the officer's name be withheld: her employer and the term of her employment were not released because of confidentiality concerns. Maybe, Nevada police officials will want to take note to preclude similar conflicts of interest.

Cf. http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/11/story.cfm?c_id=11&objectid=10392148.

Feed the Hungry Losers? Bah!

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Don't you wish, Vegas! Wednesday the Las Vegas Council passed a law that bans giving free or low-cost food to the poor in parks. The measure describes an indigent individual as a "person whom a reasonable ordinary person would believe to be entitled to apply for or receive assistance" under state law from the government. When asked how police would identify such indigents that would precipitate a violation, Mayor Oscar Goodman stated, "Certain truths are self-evident: you know who's homeless." City officials defended the law by saying that the provision of foodstuffs apart from other services like drug treatment and counseling is counterproductive. Good Samaritan Gail Sacco defiantly said, "I'm going to do whatever I think is necessary to keep people alive." The ACLU of Nevada stated that the constitution is patently unconstitutional, unenforceable, and yet another try by Vegas to harrass and hide the homeless instead of helping them. It's executive director, Gary Peck, indicated that a legal challenge is likely. Vegas, a Robin Hood without an altruistic streak?

Cf. http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2006/Jul-20-Thu-2006/news/8589438.html.

Good Vibrations

Tired of exercising or feeling guilty for not doing so, buy the Power Plate. Like Madonna, Claudia Shiffer, and Natalie Imbruglia, you too can get that toned and sculpted body without a punishing exercise regimen for the mere price of 6,995 sterling pounds (professional gym version) or a pittance of 2,599 quids (smaller personal version). Just step up on this dream machine, and it works by putting your body through a fifteen-minute workout, as the vibrations compel your dormant muscles to contract and relax up to 50/sec. If you're not celeb body conscious already, fear not: this miraculous marvel is designed to accommodate all fitness and age levels. Ergo, plunk down the cash and get that body buff. (You may have to have it shipped from the UK or one of her continental cousins.)

Cf. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=396365&in_page_id=1773.

Ma'an: Tel Aviv to Get One Hour

According to Israel National News, Ma'an, a Palestinian-Authority-based organization, quotes secret Arab sources as stating, "The Lebanese resistance is preparing a retaliation parallel to Israel's military actions: Hassan Nasrallah will address the people of Tel Aviv and warn them to evacuate the city within one hour." They added, "As soon as the delay ends, hundreds of heavy missiles will start landing in the city, which has been divided into squares in order to let damage reach every inch of the city: an estimated 500 missiles are expected to land in Tel Aviv in a short period of time." The Arab press sources further said that Hizbullah (or Hezbollah) has been carefully modulating their PR to increase the surprise of Tel Aviv at the future barrage. Moreover, they indicate that Nasrallah deems the war not to have yet begun and that he plans "surprises" for Israel including more kidnapping of its servicemen.

Cf. http://www.israelnationalnews.com/news.php3?id=107746.

Iran Threatens An Aggressive Israel

Iran's Parliament Speaker Gholam Ali Haddad Adel warned the Jewish people that no part of their homeland was safe from attack by Hezbollah. Speaker Haddad Adel praised Hezbollah head Nasrallah as a "brave lion" and challenged Israel stating, "If you (Israel) have the right to start a massacre to free one prisoner, Palestinians and Lebanese have far more right to fight you to free hundreds of their prisoners, including Cabinet ministers and lawmakers. Iranian President Ahamdinejad today added, "The Zionist government went too far and wants to occupy Lebanon." Fox analyst Major Bob Bevelacqua, a former Green Beret, stated, "I'm all in favor of the removal of Hezbollah to include the destruction of the organization: I'm not in favor of the dismantling of the country of Lebanon and its infrastructure that's going to adversely affect three million people. He elaborated that Israel has been far too aggressive with its destruction of alot of Lebanese bridges, all of its roads, all of its ports, and most of the gas stations, and, consequently, Israel has shut down the infrastructure of a nation that has nothing to do with Hezbollah. Moreover, he said while Israel was wreaking its damage on Lebanon and waiting until today to attack Hezbollah headquarters, it allowed Hezbollah to remove all of its computers and other equipment from those offices. Israel's attack on the inchoate democracy of Lebanon and its holding Lebanon responsible for not being strong enough to resist Hezbollah may cause American and rest of the the Western world to reassess it unequivocal support of Israel's current actions.

Cf. http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/07/18/D8IUHG880.html; http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3277820,00.html; and a transcript of today's Dayside on FNC.

Oprah & Gayle: We're Not Gay

Oprah Winfrey and bosom buddy Gayle King explained in an article in next month's "O, the Oprah Magazine" that they were not sapphic soulmates. Of her friend of 30 years with whom she speaks four times a day, the talk titan stated, "I understand why people think that we're gay: there isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women." King, host of the 1997 "Gayle King Show" and now an editor for "O" maintained, "The truth is, if we were gay, we would tell you, because there's nothing wrong with being gay." Oprah chimed in, "Something about this relationship feels otherworldly to me." She added, "Whatever this relationship is, it's been a very fun ride." Doth the ladies protest too much as the queen in Hamlet might postulate?

Cf. http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/07/17/D8ITVU900.html.