Food for Thought? Yeah, Right!

According to BBC News, Save the Children (StC) reports that Liberian girls (as young as eight) are being solicited into exchanging sexual services for food by aid workers, for security (?) by peacekeepers, and for good grades (and in lieu of school fees) by teachers. StC also indicated that the UN, international NGOs, and local governmental officials are culpable. StC based its conclusions on a study involving 300 people in the refugee camps "sheltering" those displaced by the war. Those blue helmets don't seem to be providing the safety and serenity that their color and organization would suggest.

Goss Goes

CIA Director Porter Goss  was forced out reported the Washington Post. According to the spin from administration anonymous sources, Peter Goss was doomed from the start with his Congressional hours, his reserved demeanor, inability to master intelligence details, and poor leadership skills. Negroponte, his frat brother at Yale, apparently wanted him out as Goss tried to protect his turf within the newly formed Home Security department. There is a salacious undercurrent that appears to be gaining credence that Goss's credibility was compromised by one of his top underlings, executive director Kyle "Dusty" Foggo. The rumor mill alleges that Dusty Foggo attended poker/prostitute parties hosted by his personal friend Brent Wilkes, a contractor, who allegedly improperly influenced another purported attendee, Rep. Randy Cunningham (R.-CA), recently convicted on public corruption charges.

More Mayo, Please

U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy said this afternoon that he will return to the Mayo Clinic to get help for his addiction to painkillers according to FNC. He stated that he didn't recall any part of the accident and added, "I know I need help." In response to a reporter's question whether he would resign, he shook his head no and added that he needed to stay in the fight. Kennedy has struggled with alcohol and drug problems in the past: over the latest Christmas holidays he checked himself into the Rochester, Minn. clinic for help. Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) cancelled two public appearances and released a statement saying, "I love Patrick very much and am very proud of him. All of us in the family admire his courage in speaking publicly about very personal issues and fully support his decision to seek treatment."

Camelot's Last Legs

U.S. Rep. Patrick Kennedy (D-RI) crashed his green Mustang convertible into a security barrier after barely missing a police cruiser according to police reports. Officers stated that Kennedy's car was observed swerving with its lights off before the accident. They added that Kennedy smelled of alchohol, had an unsteady gait, otherwise appeared intoxicated, and claimed to be on the way to the House to vote (on a bill taken six hours before). Before the officers on the scene were able to administer sobriety tests, higher ups intervened and drove Kennedy home. These rank-and-field cops were left fuming according to patrolmen's union president Lou Cannon. He said, "The officers just want to be able to do their jobs." On Fox & Friends, he added, "I think that it's safe to say that special consideration was given to him by virtue of his position. I think if it was [sic] you or me, we would probably not leave there in the same circumstances."  When asked on F&F what would occur to a normal person who was under the influence of pharmaceuticals and crashed his car into a something, Cannon responded that one would be given field  sobriety tests and could be charged with operating a motor vehicle under the influence of narcotics, whether they are prescribed or not. Kennedy later said he had not consumed alcohol prior to the incident, had taken prescribed drugs Ambien and Phenergan, and that he apparently was disoriented from the medication. In a follow-up to the accident by a Boston Herald reporter, a hostess at Hawk & Dove, a known Kennedy haunt, said that Kennedy was there the night of the accident and was drinking a little bit: she refused to give her name.

Fox Hounded into Reversal

In an about face, Fox decided not to sign the drug decriminalization (possession of small amounts of cocaine, heroin, etc.) legislation and sent it back to the Mexican congress. Apparently, he reconsidered after U.S. outcries pertaining to the consequent creation of potential drug destinations for tourists and Mexican lawmakers' claims not to be fully aware of the extent of the decriminalization of drugs. How willl the Mexican legislature revise this bill? Amsterdam tourist officials are staying tuned.

Parsons' Pimpfant Fashions

Want to be the coolest parent on the block? Pimpfant wear is ready to help. Jared Parsons (ironic surname) brings you "Jr. Pimp Sqad" jerseys, "Baby Beater" tank tops, and "My Mom is a MILF" t-shirts. He got his inspiration when he tired of buying the usual child wear for his five-year old son: he wanted his boy to be able to dress like his daddy. Parsons defines "pimping" as "styling." Nothing like dredging the demimonde for designs!

May Day! May Day!

Today (May 1st or May Day) illegal immigrants and their supporters are trying to show their impact on the American economy by not attending school and boycotting U.S. businesses. Maybe, Cinco de Mayo would be a more appropriate day since the preponderance of illegals are Mexican. However, May Day is Workers' Day in the former communist U.S.S.R., and it hearkens back to when workers' were exploited but given "cradle to grave" sustenance. Further, the Minutemen patrolling the border may remind legal American citizens that "May Day" should be a desparate call to rescue the U.S. from the current crisis of inadequately guarded borders. Will today's actions by illegals engender sympathy or a backlash from American citizens? If they want to procure better PR for their cause, they may want to disassociate themselves from some of their strident demogogues who wave Mexican flags, sing the national anthem in Spanish, and call for force if needed to secure their demands.